Pre-School Drop Off…Like A Boss
By: Larissa Morgan | Date: September 29 2016
At exactly 9am, three days a week, I say goodbye to my little chicken nugget for 3 solid hours while someone else educates her. (Insert praise hands emoji here). I’ve made it through a year at home with two kids under two! My oldest has turned 4 and started part-time pre-school. This is truly the sweet life. Beth loves school, and she is terrified that I am going to rain on her parade. When we get in the car she asks if I’m just dropping her off or if I am staying with her. “Just dropping you off,” I say and relief spreads across her face faster than any epidural I ever had.
From what I’ve seen, there are three types of people who drop off their kids in the morning.
The first is the working mother. She is wearing nice clothes, pointy shoes, her hair and makeup are on point. She hops out of her car that cost at least $15,000 more than mine and walks with purpose. I wonder what time she had to wake up to look that put together. Also, I’m a little jealous because I will never have her perfectly filled in eyebrows.
The second group is the fathers. The fathers are always fun to watch because they are usually filling in for mothers and don’t do the pre-school scene very often. They tend to be slightly stressed and uncertain about how the whole process goes down and watching them pretend they know what they are doing makes for some mild morning entertainment while I polish off my coffee. Side note; always take a minute to polish off your coffee before you get out of the car. Your kids are strapped down in those luxury car seats you had to spend your entire tax return check on, yes they can scream and cry, but they can not move. So blast some T. Swift and take a moment to caffeinate in peace.
The last group is the stay-at-home moms. You can always spot them. You don’t know really what it is, but there is something about them… they have a look that just says “I need a vacation” or “help” or “when can I open the wine?” They wear oversized sweatshirts and flared jeans so old they actually have a natural faded and distressed look about them. They wear canvas shoes, greasy buns, coffee stains and have a lot of bumper stickers on their minivans and oversized SUV’s.
I realized pretty early on in the school year that I, being a stay-at-home mom, did not want to be this cliché woman. So every school morning I make a point to get dressed in clothes that require buttons and zippers and I curl my freshly dry shampooed (sometimes baby powder) hair. I apply tinted moisturizer on my face so I look fresh and flawless (insert laughing-so-hard-its-crying-face emoji here) then I brush my teeth before throwing on my canvas shoes. Whatever, they’re practical. When I leave my house looks like a war zone but it doesn’t matter because I know I just owned the morning. I corral my tiny humans into my tiny Subaru Impreza and roll out of my driveway feeling like a boss.